in the museum

by nick nelson

the museum opened in the morning at its usual time. the clown, the magician. the philosopher, the soldier, the detective, and the assassin took up their posts in the gallery and waited for visitors, of which there had not been many lately. at around ten o’clock the guide appeared, accompanied by a woman of indeterminate age, and a chlld who looked to be about four years old. these, the guide began without preamble, giving his standard speech, are all specimens of a vanishing civilization. this is a clown - but as there is no longer anything to laugh at or about, his services are no longer required. it might be added that he survived a long time after his obsolescence, more than any of these others. this is a magician - but the age of miracles is past. this is a philosopher - but as everything is now known, his speculations are quite pointless. this is a soldier - there are of course, no longer wars, or anything to fight them over. this is a detective. crime is not only obsolete but unimaginable, so she has no reason for existing. and finally, this is an assassin. anger, resentment, jealousy and competition are no longer, so who would wish to hire her? the woman nodded at the conclusion of the guide’s speech, and the child stared at the six fossils with its thumb in its mouth, and without any appearance of interest. the clown thought he recognized the woman and the child from a painting that had hung in another part of the museum since he could remember, but he did not say anything. the guide departed with the woman and the child. the next day the guide returned with the woman. there is no longer any need for procreation, he told the six fossils, so this woman, formerly the madonna of - of - of some godforsaken place - will now join your ranks. the six fossils, who all shared the trait of good breeding, welcomed the madonna to their ranks. the next day the guide returned with the child. there will no longer be stages of human development, the guide said, so this child will now be one of you. please make him comfortable. the next day the guide returned alone. there is no longer any need for the retention of obsolete knowledge, or for its display, he explained, so now i join you myself. the guide crossed into the display area and took a seat. will we continue to be fed? the clown asked the guide. i do not know, the guide said. i guess we will find out, the philosopher said.

the friends

by nick nelson

derek and louise and adam and constance were best friends. they went everywhere together and had some great times together. they especially enjoyed dressing up in funny costumes and taking each others’ pictures. and going skiing, and going to the beach, and getting blind drunk. everything changed when adam murdered constance and was sentenced to life imprisonment in the state penitentiary. derek and louise often visited adam in prison, and put flowers on constance’s grave. but it just wasn’t the same. one rainy day, after a particularly depressing visit to adam , derek and louise stopped at a mcdonalds after returning to the city. i think it is best if we stop seeing each other and start new lives, louise said to derek. you, of course, can continue to visit adam in prison and constance in her grave if you like, but i have a new job in columbus ohio and i am going there on wednesday. i am almost all packed and ready to go, so i guess this is goodbye. louise got up and left the mcdonalds to go back to her apartment to finish packing for her trip to columbus. derek felt very sad. the good times he had had with louise and adam and constance were the best he ever had. he wondered if he should treasure them forever, or if, like louise, he should start a new life.

west virginia

by nick nelson

john porter and mary williams moved around a lot in their jobs. their child, joey porter, constantly found himself going to new schools, and he was a person nobody seemed to notice or want to talk to. when the family moved to middleville he went to school for almost three weeks before anybody except a teacher or school administrator spoke to him. and then it was only to say things like “excuse me” or “watch where you’re going” or “get out of my way.” even the police persons and security guards who roamed the school corridors took no notice of him. one day, after two months at the school, joey was sitting alone in the cafeteria eating his lunch of a tomato and cheese sandwich and potato chips, when a girl sat down beside him. joey’s first thought was that she was sitting there because there was nowhere else to sit, but looking around he saw there were many other empty spaces, even a couple of completely empty tables. “excuse me,” the girl said. joey turned to look at her. she was an ordinary looking girl, white, with brown eyes and short brown hair. he recognized her as a group of about twelve kids who hung out together, with two girls for every boy. “we were talking about you,” the girl said to joey. “we decided you were the person in the school most likely to kill themselves, the one most likely to be a serial killer, and the one most likely to start a new religion.” “thank you for sharing,” joey answered. it was his standard answer whenever he did not know what to say, which was most of the time. the girl got up. “there was a fourth thing,” she said. “but i can’t remember what it was.” she walked away. he never spoke to her again while he was at the school, but he did find out her name, which was josephine harris. the human brain is a mysterious organism, constantly pulsing with strange rhythms emanating from no one knows where. joey thought he “forgot” about josephime harris, but of course no one ever really “forgets” anything. years later joey got a job as a bus driver. one of his regular routes was between syracuse new york and kansas city missouri. one night he was driving his bus back to syracuse from kansas city and was passing through west virginia. there were only five people on the bus. none of them were traveling togteher. it was about three o’clock in the morning and all five seemed to be asleep. suddenly a woman seated right in the center of the bus woke up. she checked something on her phone and then rushed up to the front. please, let me off here, she asked joey. the bus seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, with no buildings in sight. i am sorry, ma’am, joey replied, but i can only let you off at a designated stop, or within fifty yards of it. please, let me off, she begged him. there is a stop about ten miles away, joey told her. it is not a regular stop and will be closed for the night but i can leave you there if you request it. the woman sighed. all right, she said, if that is the best you can do. she went back and got her suitcase from the overhead rack and sat down in the seat directly behind joey. they reached the dark little stop and joey let the woman off. at no point had she looked joey directly in the face. as she got off the bus, joey suddenly thought she looked familiar. it was josephine harris! or was it? joey could never be sure. he wondered about it sometimes, but after seven or eight years he forgot about her, and six years after that he was sitting in the diner next to the station in indianapolis, drinking a cup of black coffee when he had a seizure and fell across the table in the booth, dead.

orangutan

by nick nelson

sometimes i wish i was an orangutan eating peanut butter cookies on a cloudy day no one would pay me no mind and i could wait for night to fall and for the stars to come out except that they don’t any more, do they? it is always dark at night now nobody dances in the shadows but maybe i just don’t see them concentrating as i am on eating my peanut butter cookie and wondering if it is going to rain i have a lot of thoughts these are just some of them would you like to hear some more of my thoughts? that’s all right you don’t have to pretend

i ask of you the truth - 24. half a mile

by nick nelson

part twenty-four of twenty-four

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a little after midnight. the bus was half empty, had been all the way from the city, and johnny, sitting just behind the driver, had two seats to himself and had been watching the empty highway for a couple of hours. the bus stopped at a crossroads . “this is it, pal,” the driver annpunced. “thomasville.” the driver was a friendly fellow who looked like he ate a lot of apple pie. thomasville. where the great imperial coast to coast circus was due to arrive in two days. johnny did not see anything. but he grabbed his bag from the seat beside him and stood up. “so where is the town?” he asked. “or any place i can get a cab?” the driver pointed west. “there’s a filling station about half a mile up that road. you can get a cab there, but you might have to wait a while. you can get some good coffee and pie there. tell them bob sent you.” “thanks, i’ll do that.” the driver opened the door and johnny stepped down on to the road. the bus pulled away and johnny was left on the highway. he could not see any lights, but the moon was more than half full and he could see all right. he headed in the direction the driver had pointed out. sure enough, there was a little filling station just like the driver said, with a little diner beside it, with a light on. johnny pushed open the door of the diner. he did not see anybody, either behind the counter or on the stools or the one little booth. “anybody home?” he called. nobody answered. he had a bad feeling. he went back outside. he walked around the side of the building, to the back. and there, slumped against the wall, was a man. johnny knew right away, but checked the guy anyway. he was dead. a dead man. he was alone again with a dead man. there is no escape, johnny thought. no escape. the end

i ask of you the truth - 23. flown away

by nick nelson

part twenty-three of ?

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“this fellow here with the shotgun looks like he has some plans too.” “darn straight i do,” the clerk shouted. he pointed the shotgun at thelma and pulled the trigger. a bird, a blue bird, flew out of the left barrel and away into the sky. “look what you did, pop,” thelma said. “that was the bluebird of happiness, and now he has flown away.” the clerk pulled the other trigger on his old side by side. a white bird flew out of the right barrel and into the sky after the first bird. thelma turned and watched it. “what bird was that?” she asked. “probably the dove going back to noah,” slim said. “to tell him the flood is over.” the general laughed. “you really know your bible, slim.” the old man dropped the shotgun and sat down on the ground and started to cry. thelma snickered. “that’s right, old man, “ she told him, “sit down and weep, like moses at the rivers of babylon.” “it wasn’t moses that wept at the rivers of babylon,” slim told her. “it was the whole of the children of israel.” “if you say so.” “don’t argue with slim,” the general told her. “ i told you, he knows his bible.” slim looked up at the sky. the blue bird and the white bird had both disappeared. “this is all well and good,” he said to the general. “but now what? what’s this great change of plans?” “i will tell you later.” the general took a watch out of his pocket and looked at it. “right now, i think we should just get a move on.” “where to?” thelma asked. “yeah, where to?” slim repeated. “the circus is coming to town,” the general told them. “i think it would be a good idea if we joined it.” 24. half a mile

i ask of you the truth - 22. moving on

by nick nelson

part twenty-two of ?

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“she - she fell in with a bad crowd.” johnny waited for betsy to say more. “what kind of bad crowd?” he finally asked her. “dope dealers? bank robbers? communists?” “worse than any of that,” betsy told him. “she - joined the circus.” johnny managed not to laugh. “the circus? plenty of fine hard working folks in the circus. course you get some lowlifes too, but you can find lowlifes working at the general store.” he took a sip of the bad but hot coffee . “i wouldn’t worry too much about it.” “but i am worried about it,” betsy insisted. “you don’t know this circus. you don’t know what they wanted poor rose to do.” “what did they want poor rose to do?” “they wanted her to be the tattooed lady!” this time johnny did laugh. “well that beats being the fat lady, i guess, or the lady who gets knives thrown at her.” “it’s not funny,” rose looked she was ready to cry. “you are right,” johnny told her. “i shouldn’t have laughed. so did rose agree to be the tattooed lady?” “no, but she said she would think about it. think about it! what is there to think about?" “so then what is she doing now ?” betsy hesitated. “she’s a - hoochy -coochy dancer.” johnny took another sip of coffee. “that’s not so bad - in a circus or a carnival. they play in small towns, where folks go to church and read the bible. and kids can get into the shows, or at least sneak in. it’s not like being in a burlycue show in new york or chicago.” betsy did not look reassured. “but she’s out there in the middle of nowhere, all alone, traveling from town to town, in those bleak wide open spaces - where there could be tornados or outlaw gangs or stampedes of buffalos or who knows what…” “yeah,” johnny answered slowly. “yeah.” he looked out the window at the dark street. he could feel the american night calling to him. the american night, away from the stinking city, with its bums and welshers and crooked cops like grogan and its two timing con men like “professor” sturdivant… and its shadows and alleys filled with who knew what might have it in for him… “you know the name of this circus?” he asked betsy. “sure, it’s the great imperial coast to coast circus. that’s what it calls itself. but it’s a real two-bit operation, believe you me.” “the great imperial coast to coast circus, “ johnny repeated. he put his coffee cup down. “i tell you what, i will look it up. i will find it. and i will find out how rose is doing.” “you will? oh, johnny, thank you! thank you so much!” betsy turned to johnny and looked like she thought about hugging him, but did not actually do so. “think nothing of it,” johnny told her. “it was time for me, anyway.” “time for what?” “time to be moving on.” 23. flown away

i ask of you the truth - 21. a change in plans

by nick nelson

part twenty-one of ?

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slim legrand’s letter to joe willis was short and to the point. hey, old buddy, i will be drifting through your neighborhood in a few days and i might stop by and see how you are doing. (signed) slim “i wonder how he found out where i live,” joe muttered as dropped the letter on the kitchen table. “well, he is an old army buddy, isn’t he?” molly asked. “aren’t old army buddies always looking each other up? they are in the movies. isn’t that what they are for?” “i told you - he wasn't exactly a buddy. and i only knew him for a few months. and we didn’t keep in touch.“ joe stared into space, at least, he thought, slim had not mentioned where they had known each other - in punishment company m. joe did not want to have to explain to molly what he was doing in a punishment company. at last joe said. “the only reason slim legrand would get in touch with me would be if he wanted something from me. and i don’t know what that could be. and i sure don’t have anything to give him.” molly shrugged. “well, in that case, just tell him that. and besides, he doesn’t say he will drop by, only that he might.” “yes, “ joe agreed. “you’re right.” if slim legrand wants something from me, he thought, there is no “might” about it. * slim heard a voice behind him. “what’s going on here?” the voice of the general. he turned and there was the general, in a long black coat hanging down to his polished black shoes and with a homburg on his head. goldbrick was right behind him, in a chauffeur’s uniform. slim kept one eye on the old man with the shotgun. “what are you doing here?” he asked the general. “i was supposed to pick wiley up and go out and meet you.” “there’s been a change in plans.” slim shrugged . “i guess. this fellow here with the shotgun looks like he has some plans too.” * pete’s right leg had fallen asleep. he had not felt comfortable stretching out in the completely dark theater and now his leg had fallen asleep. and the movie, whether they had the reels right or not, was stupid. he decided to leave. had he reached his seat from the right or left? he thought from the right, and he had only come in a few seats so he decided to leave in the same direction. he got up, stumbled on his asleep right leg, and pitched forward, immedately colliding with another person, who yelped like a kicked dog. pete managed to get over the person and into the aisle, bumping against a wall. he still could not see a thing. “my crackerjack! you made me spill my crackerjack!” an old man’s voice shouted. pete saw a tiny glimmer of light on the floor which he hoped signified the exit and he scrambled for it. “pay for my crackerjack, you jerk!” the old man yelled behind him. something hit pete on the head - a cane? he got through the door into the little lobby. he glanced back and saw the door close on the old man, who looked a little bit like the desk clerk in the movie. the girl in the ticket booth watched with a blank expression as pete stumbled past her into the street. gasping in the fresh air, pete looked around. what time was it? the sky was overcast. was it getting late? had he fallen asleep in the strand theater? or was it just going to rain? a raindrop hit him. good enough. he couldn’t trudge around looking for a job in the rain, could he? he had already spent enough time looking for a job. he headed home. the rain began to fall a little harder. 22. moving on

i ask of you the truth - 20. long black limousine

by nick nelson

part twenty of ?

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“what if we don’t want to go on no stinking picnic? “ thelma asked. the queen of sheba got out of the back seat of the general’s jeep. she took the picnic basket tied with the big green bow with her, and walked up to thelma with it. “look at all these nice goodies.” the queen of sheba said, “are you sure you don’t want to come with us on our picnic?” “i can’t see no stinking goodies,” thelma answered. “if you don’t untie the basket.” “that makes sense,” the queen of sheba agreed. she tugged on the big green bow and it turned into a snake and dropped off the basket into the dirt. the snake wiggled toward slim and his horse. slim didn’t like being on a horse. he had never liked horses, which was one reason he had run away from his old pappy’s farm … the horse saw the snake and reared up… slim tried to stay on it… thelma and sophie and the queen of sheba and the general and goliath and jesse james and stonewall jackson all started laughing… and singing joshua fought the battle of jericho and the battle hymn of the republic… slim woke up. he was lying on the motel bed with his clothes on. sunlight filtered under the blind on the window. he checked his watch . it was quarter to eight. he got up and peeked around the blind on the window and looked outside, at the parking lot at the rear of the motel. there was one car parked there - a long black shiny limousine. slim knew right away it must belong to the general. was the general in it himself? he let the blind fall back into place. there was a bathroom down the hall and it was empty. slim brushed his teeth and splashed some water on his face and straightened his clothes out. he didn’t bother to shave. he figured he might get a shave at a barbers before meeting the general. he went down to the front desk but there was nobody there. he left the room key on the desk and went outside, out front where he had parked the night before. he blinked in the sunlight. his car was the only one he saw. the clerk’s wife - what did she say her name was? - was leaning back on the hood of it and puffing on a cigarette. “good morning, sunshine,” she greeted him. “you are right on time.” “i try to be,” slim told her. he took his car keys out of his pocket. “we might as well get going.” “we might as well.” thelma - that was her name - tossed her cigarette away and pushed herself off the hood of the car. “you are not going anywhere,” slim heard a voice behind him. he turned and it was the old man - the desk clerk - and he had a shotgun in his hand. a rusty looking shotgun, but a shotgun all the same. “you tramp,” the old man shouted, “where do you think you are going?” thelma did not look at all frightened, or even surprised. “come on, pop, don’t be so darned ornery. i asked this gentleman for a ride into town, that’s all.” “i’ll give you a ride into town. the town on the other side of the river jordan.” 21. a change in plans