peace conferences were always held on the floating island of paris. the newest one was to be held in the south pacific, three thousand kilometers southwest of easter island.
president al capone , accompanied only by a few bodyguards and stenographers, arrived two days early for the conference. this was a habitual preference of his. secretaty of state wilson, secretary of war custer, and various other functionaries, civilian and military, would follow when the conference officially “began”.
chancellor hitler of the teutonic empire also preferred to arrive early. he and capone thus had opportunities to chat “privately”. they had done this on a couple of occasions previously. the heads of the other five empires found this annoying , but not so much that they altered their own schedules to arrive “early” also. all professed enough confidence in their own diplomatic and espionage services that the two early birds could not gain any advantage over them. besides, if hitler and capone wanted to talk, at any time, what was to prevent them?
while his modest luggage was being sent to his room, capone went over and took a seat on a divan in the center of the hotel lobby, beside a small pool with a couple of small white sharks swimming in it .
capone ignored the sharks, and stared into space, thinking his thoughts.
he saw hitler come through the front door, with his own entourage, even more modest than capone’s,, and check in
bellhops took charge of hitler’s modest luggage, and hitler came over and joined capone.
one of hitler’s bodyguards - a hulking fellow with a closely shaved head - took another seat in the lobby, distant enough, but from where he could keep an eye on the two statesmen. capone thought this a bit of a breach of etiquette, but did not say anything to hitler, and greeted him in his usual cordial manner.
“good morning, bunky.” bunky was capone’s nickname for hitler. he had nicknames for everybody, including his fellow heads of empires. some of his advisors had expressed the opinion that this was not a good idea, but he ignored them.
“good morning, mr president,” hitler replied politely. he looked tired. he took a chair in front of capone, bur a little off to the side, so that he was facing the shark pool.
“why don’t we get right to the point?” capone asked.
“why not? but what point?” hitler replied softly.
“all this stuff about people from outer space. are you hearing about that?’
“the security services of the teutonic empire hear many things. i trust them to separate what is believable from what is not so believable.”
“but are they hearing about people - empires, whatever - from outer space?’
“visitors from outer space have always been a favorite subject of speculation based on few or no facts.”
capone smiled. he found hitler’s careful way of speaking amusing. “but are you hearing more of this sort of thing lately? are you hearing a lot more of it lately?”
a waiter approached. the two statesmen fell silent until he was bowing in front of them.
“would you gentlemen care for some refreshment?”
“a cup of chamimille tea, not too strong, and a raspberry tart.”
“black coffee and three jelly donuts.”
the waiter departed.
“it’s good to have nobody around quacking about your health,” capone said. “and be able to get exactly what you want.”
hitler watched the waiter until he disappeared in the direction of the hotel cafeteria. “how do we know that that fellow was not an agent of some galactic empire or other?”
“i guess we don’t ,” capone said.
“indeed. as you were saying…”
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